Finding the Love of Your Life & Keeping Them

Published February 5, 2016

Love of Your LifeMidlife crisis changes a person’s life in many profound manners. One unexpected change is often in relationship chemistry and how we spend our time with others. Additionally, a person in midlife crisis will often revisit old friendships to close unresolved questions and seek new friends to open new perspectives. As the crisis changes a person, it also changes who matches to their newer life needs.

What happens when a person literally changes enough to seemingly shift their soul? Understand the degree of change a person experiences in midlife transformation varies from small to huge. However, when transformation has been forced into crisis, then it represents huge change that can shift apart the deepest of partners.

This article focuses only on the relationship definitions that are most critical when trying to resolve a Mid Life Crisis. The expanded list for all the variations of relations is found here.

People love to say that a soulmate is what they strive to find as a partner. Yet for all the talk about soulmates, do people really understand or know how to spot soulmates? Ironically not. We are feeling beings and our feelings/emotions do actually trick us at times. When we first meet a person who has a powerful connection, our emotions tend to bind very deeply and also initially blind us a bit. Yes, soulmates do exist, but the need to find a committed partner (our species does want to continue with children) causes our body to use some biological tricks on the mind to bind some relationships to feel deeper than they might really be.

We become obsessed (and our friends become obsessed) with all the things that we aren’t “getting” in relationships, but relationships are where we learn to GIVE. They are not about another person completing us!

People love talking about this. “He’s not doing _____, so you should walk away.” Really? Why not explore what you aren’t doing?

How can you show up in a fuller way? How can you fearlessly love? These are the real questions you should be asking yourself.

When we genuinely give more to our partners, we receive more love. It’s a simple equation. This is a major lesson you must learn if you are going to have successful relationships.

That’s what happens in relationships! If you didn’t feel negative emotions, you wouldn’t grow!

Does this mean you have to endure frustration, annoyance, fear, and craziness forever? No! You get to move beyond these feelings. It’s called evolution. But again, no discomfort, no growth. People jump on challenges in relationships like they’re a horrible thing. And I get it, it’s not comfortable in be pushed to your edge. But having strong emotional experiences doesn’t mean something is wrong! This is one of the biggest misconceptions about love. Your emotions indicate where you have room to grow.

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